Ah, another beautiful sunny fall day. “Agh. Beautiful sunny days are killing us. Last year was the hottest year in history, smashing the old record set in 2014; and 2016 is blowing those records away. And the drought! Oh. My. God. Even the rainy coast of New England is abnormally dry. The streams have no water. The ground is rock hard. Enough with the sunny days. We could use a few rainy days. And the water we do have, it stinks. Literally. Americans dump 1.2 trillion gallons of sewage into them every year; and almost half our streams and rivers are in poor condition. And what about the “ghost forests,” acres of dead trees – appearing all along the east coast – killed by rising sea levels caused by global warming. How can you even talk about a beautiful day?”

I'm sorry you can't enjoy it while it lasts. By the way, who are you voting for for president?

“I don’t know. I don’t like either one of them. I probably won’t vote, or I’ll go for a third-party candidate.”

And there you have it – another half a vote for the concept that “global warming was created by and for the Chinese." Another half a vote for denying the California drought. Another half a vote for “canceling” the Paris climate agreement. Another half a vote for eliminating the EPA and whacking the heads off mountains in pursuit of coal.

And so, because we wouldn’t choose, he goes to the White House, half a vote at a time.

Have a nice day.