As Egypt stumbles toward weekend elections, pressure is growing to postpone the vote until mid-November in the hope that Barack Obama might be looking for work. “Obama would make a great president for us,” said Darwishi Hussein, a lawyer sitting in Tahrir Square. “He has the qualifications: he was born in Africa and is a Muslim. And he has very good name recognition. There are lots of Husseins in Egypt”

“If you don’t want him, we very much need him,” said Geb Sawalhi, an unemployed musician. “He has experience running a country filled with politicians who revile each other. And now that our supreme court dissolved Parliament, he won’t have to deal with squabbling legislators.”

Speaking at a Rotary breakfast in Ohio, Mitt Romney said, “Barack Obama says he is an American, and I’ll take him at his word until Donald Trump proves otherwise.”

Reached at his sprawling gated ranch in Trump (formerly Arizona), Trump declared, “The Trumpettes are hot on the trail of the real birth certificate. It’s locked in a cave in Utah.

“You should see what is running around down here at night,” he added. “Obama is just the tip of the iceberg.”

The Obama campaign issued the following statement: “Enough is enough. Mitt Romney destroyed thousands of jobs at Bain Capital. This is one he won’t get his hands on. His policies are fine for the 1%, but even with our electoral college, 1% doesn’t get you elected president . . . at least not since 2000, when Clarence Thomas elected Bush.”